Stories from the Halloween Contest

Shrine of Sobriety, Trammel, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 23, 2013 – by Ashlynn – There were plenty of stories to be told at the recent Halloween story contest – perhaps not all spooky – but certainly all interesting!

20131023hallocon2The rules for the contest were simple: each entrant would draw a random word from a box and would then tell a spooky story based on the word. There were prizes for first place and one as a consolation – the latter being a bag of turnips! With a rather fancy sash.

Though I was the host I managed to recruit Nubby to play the role of Judge, absolving myself of yet more responsibility!

There were seven entries in all. The winner of the contest was Icky Rotblossom with her tale about an old village. Victor Speranza took home the consolation prize for his creepy story about a chicken!

All stories told at the contest can be found below along with the word each contestant randomly drew.

Snow – Ozog Giantfart

Der beees a beery bad storm wif thunder an lightening, instead ob rain it snows lots an lots. Dis beees kerry cause it bees summer time.

Sum beees wrong, meees goes look seed. Finds a skeery lady ob da snow casting spell – frezzing eberyting except hers minions. Minions bees kill alla da frozen stuffs.

Herz freeze mees and in lebes mees der. Habes to wait fer da sun to melts mees – dunnno were lady ob da snow went buts herz out der sumplace. So bees careful.

Ivy’s Dark Secret – Phoenix

Well, one night in the wee hours of the morning I was wandering around Vesper, checking the taverns as NANOC had not returned home yet!

As I passed Governor Ivy’s office I noticed a candle was burning. I could not let the opportunity go by, so I stepped on some newly planted flowers. I stood on tip toe and peered into the window.

There sat the very pious Governor Ivy chatting across her desk with to skeletal pirates and an evil looking Orc Bomber. I was having trouble hearing what was going on so I moved around the building smashing flowers, trying to be oh so quiet.

And then I heard it – I heard Governor Ivy’s Dirty Secret

She said, “They are fools who will never notice that I…”

…and then I fell from the window ledge, knocking myself out I fear. I never heard the rest of Governor Ivys Dirty secret.

Mushrooms – Nanoc

While hunting the ever elusive Jackie O Latnern – a lady of the taverns and inns – I had heard that she lived somewhere in Ilshenar.

I traveled far and wide looking for her, to Farmer Earls though he had not seen her but mentioned a cave not far from his farm.

He would not let me stay the nite – someting about his daughter – so I traveled close to the mountain and finally reached a cave with moss and ivy growing over the opening.

I entered causiously and a large conjoured up mushroom tried to attack me. I duck, drew my sword and slashed at its frilly underside. It fell, more attacked and I ran – slashing my sword – to the back of the cave looking for somewhere to rest, but alas no space there.

What to my wondering eyes did appear: it was ASHLYNN!

The Old Village – Icky Rotblossom

Onz nite inz da dark a yung goblin mades herz way to an old village. Itz wuz a spooky place en allz da little goblin girls en boys were afrade ub itz. It wuz sed dat abter dark, sumthin terruble came outz ub da old village – sumthing toos terruble toos talk bout.

Weneber a little goblin went missin…. well, wees noes.

Wees noes.

Las nite mees went toos da old village. Mees wanteds ta findz outz fer sures wat wuz dere. Mees took a dagger en a bottle ub Miz Lucy’s brew Angelic Whispers.

Mees drank sum wile mees wuz wating. Mees wated en wated en wated until the bottle wuz empty an den mees herd sumthin deep in da old village, behinds da old well.

A big shadows rose up toos da roof. Da shadows gotz darker en darker. Itz leened ober mees en mees cried en wet mees shoes – mees wuz soo skeered.

Dats wen mees lost conscilousness. Mees woke ups dis mornin inz da old village mees sandals still wet an da shadow wuz gones. Mees dont noes eny mores bout wat haunts da old village.

Chickens – Victor

So Billy and Mandy are newlyweds from Trinsic. They decide they want to leave the swamp and go to a nice place for thier honeymoon so naturally they head to the grand vistas north of Minoc. While alone in the mountains Billy and Mandy being of a young age decided to celebrate thier new marriage.

Well one night… They hear a noise outside thier tent, a kind of scratching pokeing sound. They go outside thier tent and find a chicken eating thier food with a KNIFE AND FORK!

So being caught the chicken freaks out and starts talking! The chicken figures, ‘hey i’ve got some power, lets grant these two fools three wishes.’

So Billy and Mandy start talking over thier wishes. First Billy asks for all the gold in Trinsic’s coffers and boom. it shows up at the tent!

Next Mandy asks for all the animals in Skara Brae to be set free! So they are really happy now, lifelong dreams fulfilled, nothing left but to spend the rest of thier lives in happiness in the woods.

This is when the chicken starts to slink away but they say “uhuh! we gotz one moar vish!” – or however that trinsic accent goes.

They asked the chicken for world peace so nobody will ever disturb them ever again so the chicken…. turns everybody into chickens! BOK BOK BOK.

The Ash Tree – Holly Bloodhand

I’d sailed to Lost Hope Bay to lay low a while. Not much traffic up there ye see. Me ship was damaged from a scuffle with a particularly reluctant gem merchant from Britain – Ellen or some such.

I scuttled ‘er ship, but took quite a bit o’ damage meself. So I had to disembark to gather repair supplies.

Now north o’ Minoc is all rocks and trees but some o’ them trees be alive. Nasty blighters.

I needed to patch me ship, so I grabbed an axe and set forth, found a nice patch o’ ash trees not far from shore – least I thought they were ash trees ’till I hit one o’ them with me axe.

The grove came alive around me! At least a dozen o’ the ash trees were reapers. I were surrounded. They paralyzed me with their devil magics and I was fading fast from their brutal onslaught when I saw me salvation…

A lonely miner was wandering up the mountain, oblivious to the situation, didn’t seemt o be paying a bit’ o attention. Ore fallin’ on the ground and didn’t even mind.

So I stepped in his direction and cast invisibility on meself. The ash reapers were confused, but quickly noticed the absentminded miner! ‘Twas all the distractiion I needed.

I came out of hiding and dragged the miner by the arm to me ship. He made a fine human shield I tell ye. The reapers followed and I leapt onto me ship and blasted the blighters away with me cannons. Blasted the miner away too come te think of it…

But he didn’t seem te even notice. In fact te this day, if you walk up the mountainside north o’ Minoc ye can sometimes see a ghost wandering up and down the mountain, swingin’ a pickax that ain’t thar.

The Lake – Aratak

On the eve of my return to this world I decided to take a quick tour of the land. I wandered hither and yon recalling all of the old sites that I had not seen for many a day. I found many new monsters that I had never seen before.

Wanting to take some time just to myself, I sat myself down beside a small lake. The air was clear and the animals wandered near me. Twas a beautiful time I was having.

Suddenly…..ripples began to appear on the surface of the water. I watched closely as the ripples moved closer to where I sat on the shore. I was frozen to my spot wondering what was going to appear before me. All the wild creatures around me began to run away.

I pulled my bow into my hands and grabbed an arrow from my quiver – I felt I was preparing to meet my death. I jumped to my feet and placed the arrow on the bow as the ripples grew larger.

Now bubbles were appearing on the surface as the ripples flew toward me. I pulled back on my arrow prepared to shoot at whatever it was when suddenly out of the water appears…

…a giant sea serpent who says “welcome back m’lady.”

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PaxLair Meeting: October 22, 2013 is at the Paladin Tower in Delucia

PaxLair Statehood, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 22, 2013 – by Ashlynn – The next meeting will be held as follows:

  • Date: Tuesday, October 22, 2013
  • Time:
    • 9:00-10:00 PM ET – PaxLair Meeting
  • Location: Paladin Tower, Delucia
  • Directions:  It is the large stone tower on the eastern side of town, near the gate. There will also be a rune on the Tea House steps.
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Minax Supporters Attack City of Britain

Britain, Trammel, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 22, 2013 – by Ashlynn – Most mornings I make my way from the Shrine of Sobriety to the eastern district of the City of Britain, usually to stop by Sage Advice for the latest herbal news, or the Salty Dog where I often meet some of my contacts. I thought today would be like any other but I was certainly wrong!

20131022lighthouse2Reaching the city limits I soon found myself confronted by small bands of horrid plant creatures – twisted walking trees, vine monsters, and other foul things. Leading each group were men and women – some brandishing terrible weapons, others terrible magicks. And I’m sure a bard may have led a few of them.

Eluding my attackers I soon met with several people attempting to mount a defence of the city. I quickly learned that a large stone beacon – not unlike a lighthouse – had been erected in the city and it’s presence was effectively calling fourth the creatures. Unfortunately the tower was protected by a magical field and we needed to slay some of the leaders of the attack before bringing down the tower.

The battle lasted a few hours as we cleansed the town of the creatures. Soon our attention turned to the tower itself. Our magics proved superior however – the tower was soon reduced to rubble and the remaining attackers decided to flee.

On the corpses of some of the leaders we found arms and armour bearing the crest of the infamous sorceress Minax. Not just a single example but many, suggesting these weren’t a few of her minions simply turned mercenary – but something far more organised, and they were possibly acting on her orders.

With the attack thwarted and our band of defenders victorious I thought that the end of it but I was wrong – word had reached the town criers of a similar attack on the City of Yew and for all I know there may have been further attacks since then.

I fear this may be the start of a much longer campaign and I urge all to remain vigilant and well armed should the battle come to your door.

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The Pitmuck Goblin Convention

Pitmuck, Trammel, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 21, 2013 – by Ashlynn – As it turns out those fetid little creatures from Horseshoe Island can occasionally get organised at times with such an event happening yesterday evening as they hosted their very own convention!

While humans were invited to the convention events were firmly focused on what I can only call “goblin current affairs” with the main order of business being a petition that is to be presented to the King. Icky was even kind enough to read out the petition for the benefit of all goblins present which could not read (which would be all of them except Icky):

Wees, da Goblins ub Pitmuck, declair dat wees bees an indiginious en minoritiee population ub Britannia, en wees bees entitleds ta da offishul stutis ub “Domestick Dependent Nashun” wits da rites ub “Tribel Soverntee” – i.e. wit authoritee ta govern weeuns owns selves en establish weeuns own corts.

Weeuns heerbyes petishun da rumoreds king ub Britannia aka Lord Blackthorn guy toos declair da land ub Pitmuck to bees “Tribel Terratorrie” fereber, ta bees heldz inz perpatuaties bye da goblins fereber en eber even iffin Pitmuck sinz inta da oshun sumday.

Wees respectfullies submits dis petitshun to Lord Blackthorny guy

Thank you

But the goblins didn’t just have grand geopolitical plans in mind. Icky raised concerns she had about goblin culture and customs, how she felt their were endangered and needed protection. Infact I must admit that but for the strange dialect the rhetoric began to sound similar to that of the politicking nobles of the City of Britain.

20131021gobcon3But Icky still wasn’t finished. She claimed that all goblins had rights – that they weren’t pets or slaves and they didn’t have to serve others. She was adamant that others should also respect their rights, stating it loudly to cheers from the goblins.

Following Icky’s grand speech she called a general vote on whether the petition should be presented to the King and it passed unanimously. Finally as the convention began to draw to a close, it was suggested that one of the more receptive Governor’s could present it on behalf of the goblins though it was met with a mixed response.

Once the main event was over (I must add I was expecting entertainment rather than goblin politics) everyone was invited for “treats” at the Pitmuck Bread Mission.

All in all the whole event left me somewhat bewildered. It is certainly one of the strangest goblin gatherings I have witnessed and is a marked shift in tone from the chaotic celebrations they typically hold. Does this mean that the goblins will be playing a greater role in Britannian politics in the future? I certainly hope not.

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PaxLair Meeting: October 15, 2013 is at the Earth and Sea Mansion

PaxLair Statehood, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 15, 2013 – by Ashlynn – The next meeting will be held as follows:

  • Date: Tuesday, October 15, 2013
  • Time:
    • 9:00-10:00 PM ET – PaxLair Meeting
  • Location: Earth and Sea Mansion
  • Directions:  There is a rune to the mansion on the Tea House steps.
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The 2013 Sosarian Journalism Awards

Moonglow, Trammel, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 12, 2013 – by Ashlynn – For the past five years journalists and scribes from all across Sosaria have met every October to host the Sosarian Journalism Awards – a scribe guild sponsored event that highlights some of the best talent in the industry.

Though many accolades are given out during the ceremony the most valued and sought after award is “Greatest Sosarian Newspaper” and it carries the most prestige in Britannian journalism circles. While awards such as “Grandmaster Typesettenewsawardtrophyr” are nothing to turn one’s nose up at, it is the newspaper award that really draws the crowds.

It should come as no surprise that in four out of five of the previous years the PaxLair Times has scooped this crowning glory reflecting the paper’s skilled writing, incredible attention to the facts, and most of all fair and balanced reporting.

This year the event came to the magical City of Moonglow – a place famed as a centre of learning and enlightenment. The crowds were gathered outside of the counselor hall where the awards ceremony was being held, desperately waiting to hear who would leave with the famed golden quill. Despite the hustle and bustle outside, events within were far more formal as Earnest Thurman, guest speaker from the Lyceum read out the shortlist.

The nominees for Greatest Sosarian Newspaper were:

  • The Haven Herald
  • The Yew Times
  • The Vesper Corsair
  • The Cove Evening Courant
  • The PaxLair Times
  • The Ter-Mur Slate

20131012newspaperawardThe Pitmuck Poste was mentioned as one of the more eccentric publications the industry had seen but did not make the shortlist, while the Britain Beacon was dropped from this year’s nominations due to the scandal surrounding it’s involvement with the infamous assassin that plagued the realm some time ago. Interestingly the Vesper Corsair was praised for it’s well written and informative articles despite the fact the paper is rumored to cater to Vesper’s criminal element.

But it was soon the moment everyone was waiting for. Who would walk away with the greatest trophy in the world of journalism?

Speaker Thurman broke the wax seal on the envelope, took out the parchment inside and excitedly made the announcement:

“This year’s Greatest Sosarian Newspaper Award goes to… THE PAXLAIR TIMES!

And so the Times takes the trophy for the fifth year running, truly proving that we are the only publication citizens of the realm need to read!

I would personally like to thank everyone who believed in our mission enough to nominate and vote for us. I and the rest of the PaxLair Times team are truly flattered and it is moments like these that let us know it is all worth it!

Posted in Ceremony, Moonglow, Shard Event | 2 Comments

Halloween Story Contest

Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 9, 2013 – by Ashlynn – What is autumn without an appropriate story contest? A dull season of raking up leaves I say. Not that I ever bother to do that.

The Halloween Story Contest!

halloweenankhAs a change to the regular season-based storytelling, this month’s contest will be based on the delightful holiday of Halloween. Naturally the stories told will focus on the spooky variety.

But this time round the format is also changing! We will be trying something a little more spontaneous with a focus on improvisation.

  • Come in costume (unless you are already creepy looking like Savaric).
  • You don’t need to prepare a story in advance.
  • There will be a box (or other container) containing books with a random word(s) in them.
  • Tell a spooky story based on the random word you draw.
  • Keep stories to no longer than five minutes.

The contest will be held at the Shrine of Sobriety on Saturday, October 19th at 9pm EST. I will be recording the stories and posting them here on the Times. There will be prizes (like a melon or a statue of a tadpole or something) for the best entries.

Good luck!

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PaxLair Meeting: October 8, 2013 is in the Wonderful Mushroom Cave

PaxLair Statehood, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 8, 2013 – by Ashlynn – The next meeting will be held as follows:

20131008mushroomcave

  • Date: Tuesday, October 8, 2013
  • Time: 9:00-10:00 PM ET – PaxLair Meeting
  • Location: Mushroom Cave, Ilshenar
  • Directions:  The cave (also my throne room) can be found west along the mountains from Spirituality Shrine. It is the next cave opening along.

You can even catch fish in the cave’s pool!

The meeting may start late due to the Vesper Beautification Project so a 9pm EST start time is not guaranteed.

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Realm News – Volume 4, Issue 4

realmnewsbanner4-4The PaxLair Press, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – September 7, 2013 – by Ashlynn – Don’t be fooled into reading any of our competitor’s rags – the Times is still the best paper around with all the news fit for print. Guaranteed to be 100% accurate at the time of publication and free from the sort of rumour and gossip that plagues other publications.

Why do I mention this? Well the Sosarian Journalism Awards are coming up soon and the PaxLair Times is one of the nominees! You should expect no less of course as we have a highly skilled and experienced team.

Vesper Beautification Underway

20131007vesper4A long stated aim of Governor Ivy has been to create a veneer of respectability for the maligned city of Vesper and improving the overall look of the city is one way to do so.

Yesterday evening with the aid of a few Royal Officials and a large quantity of materials “sourced” from various places, a number of decorations and structures were erected throughout the city. These included additional lighting, a rather pretty white marble fountain, and somewhere for the goblins to engage in their favourite pastime.

Unfortunately construction was cut short as the Governor had to rush off due to an emergency. The officials informed us they could not continue without her approval.

Still what was built is a definite improvement if nothing else and further improvements will be made following the Royal Council meeting this week.

Town Guard Warning Regarding Graveyards

The watchman of several towns have issued warnings about increased activity amongst undead in graveyards across Sosaria. Not only are there reports of larger numbers of walking corpses but also of one particular beast which wanders the unhallowed ground.

Why we still continue to bury the dead in Britannia I do not know. I am of the opinion that funerary rites should have changed to cremation many years ago. Still the ready availability of corpses does keep the costs down for those in professions which require dead subjects for experimentation and “raw material”.

Suspected Murderer Escapes on Dolphin

20131007boom2Yes you did just read that. A man by the name of Tyrius Zool is being sought by the Royal Guard for his possible involvement in the death of one Jimmy. Volunteer Guardsman were also seeking Jimmy at one point before it was learned that he had already met a terrible end. Amongst the suspects were Jimmy’s wife and her lover, Tyrius, a man with connections to several shady organizations operating out of the Vesper area.

It was soon learned though that Zool could be found in the backwater town of Delucia and the Royal Guard were dispatched to apprehend him. Seeming to have some warning of his impending arrest, Zool fled through Delucia passage with the aid of a large number of bandits and even a few orcs.

The volunteer guard continued their pursuit however and cornered the man at Honour shrine where he had aid from a larger ally – an ogre of all things. While the guard fought the ogre Zool jumped on the back of a dolphin and fled out to sea!

Zool should be considered extremely dangerous and any who encounter him should also be wary of any company he keeps. He should not be confronted directly and instead I advise any who meet him to call for the guard.

Ozog Celebrates Birthday

20131007ozogbdayThe pungent green creature known as Ozog celebrated his… birthday at the beginning of the month, with several people from the alliance throwing a surprise party for him. Setup and celebration generally consisted of making a mess near the Pitmuck Bread Mission and then inviting him to partake in making an even bigger mess.

Despite the odor most of the attendees stayed and even brought presents which seemed to cheer him up. Even the ale barrels were rolled out for the occasion though I decided it best to avoid drinking just incase Icky attempted to poison me again with more Love-in-idleness.

How old that makes the ice-creaming loving imp now I have no idea. Perhaps 36 turnips in goblin speak. It may be something I will have to look in to.

Announcements

Royal Council meeting with King Blackthorn to be held at Castle Blackthorn at 7:30pm EST on Tuesday.

Next Vesper City Auction this thursday at 8pm! Don’t miss your chance to acquire the finest collection of pilfered wares!

Posted in Britannia Towns, Delucia, EM Event, EM Quest, General News, Player Event, Vesper | Comments Off on Realm News – Volume 4, Issue 4

PaxLair Meeting: October 1, 2013 is on a boat…

PaxLair Statehood, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 1, 2013 – by Ashlynn – The next meeting will be held as follows:

  • Date: Tuesday, October 1, 2013
  • Time:
    • 9:00-10:00 PM ET – PaxLair Meeting
  • Location: Pitmuck, sort of.
  • Directions:  Nubby has a vessel he wishes to host the meeting on, however it will be easier if everyone simply meets in Pitmuck first before we all proceed to the vessel.
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