Pitmuck, Trammel, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 21, 2013 – by Ashlynn – As it turns out those fetid little creatures from Horseshoe Island can occasionally get organised at times with such an event happening yesterday evening as they hosted their very own convention!
While humans were invited to the convention events were firmly focused on what I can only call “goblin current affairs” with the main order of business being a petition that is to be presented to the King. Icky was even kind enough to read out the petition for the benefit of all goblins present which could not read (which would be all of them except Icky):
Wees, da Goblins ub Pitmuck, declair dat wees bees an indiginious en minoritiee population ub Britannia, en wees bees entitleds ta da offishul stutis ub “Domestick Dependent Nashun” wits da rites ub “Tribel Soverntee” – i.e. wit authoritee ta govern weeuns owns selves en establish weeuns own corts.
Weeuns heerbyes petishun da rumoreds king ub Britannia aka Lord Blackthorn guy toos declair da land ub Pitmuck to bees “Tribel Terratorrie” fereber, ta bees heldz inz perpatuaties bye da goblins fereber en eber even iffin Pitmuck sinz inta da oshun sumday.
Wees respectfullies submits dis petitshun to Lord Blackthorny guy
Thank you
But the goblins didn’t just have grand geopolitical plans in mind. Icky raised concerns she had about goblin culture and customs, how she felt their were endangered and needed protection. Infact I must admit that but for the strange dialect the rhetoric began to sound similar to that of the politicking nobles of the City of Britain.
But Icky still wasn’t finished. She claimed that all goblins had rights – that they weren’t pets or slaves and they didn’t have to serve others. She was adamant that others should also respect their rights, stating it loudly to cheers from the goblins.
Following Icky’s grand speech she called a general vote on whether the petition should be presented to the King and it passed unanimously. Finally as the convention began to draw to a close, it was suggested that one of the more receptive Governor’s could present it on behalf of the goblins though it was met with a mixed response.
Once the main event was over (I must add I was expecting entertainment rather than goblin politics) everyone was invited for “treats” at the Pitmuck Bread Mission.
All in all the whole event left me somewhat bewildered. It is certainly one of the strangest goblin gatherings I have witnessed and is a marked shift in tone from the chaotic celebrations they typically hold. Does this mean that the goblins will be playing a greater role in Britannian politics in the future? I certainly hope not.