Dragons Watch, Felucca, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – February 10, 2013 – by Phoenix – Welcome to our new feature where Lady Elaina is will provide a solution for all your woes! Feel free to submit your own questions to receive impartial, sage-like advice.
Dear Elaina,
I have finally met my knight in shining armor. Unfortunately he is a little short in stature and a bit green.
Alright, he is a goblin. My parents have no trouble with their daughter, an elf, dating a goblin but I have not brought him home yet to meet my parents. We have been secretly meeting in the tree house behind the big tree in Yew.
The problem is, Mzog Giantslime has this problem of peeing whenever the moment hits him no matter where we might be, not just in the tree house. My parents have very ornate Elfin furniture some passed down from King Oberon, a frequent guest of my parents.
How do I stop him from doing this so that I can take him home to meet Mommy and Daddy?
– Troubled Elf
Dear Troubled Elf,
I can offer you a few suggestions being familiar with some of the dirtiest goblins myself. First, there is always an outside venue. A picnic perhaps where your can introduce him to your parents, and if he decides he must pee then you can always say he is just getting rid of the ants. Pray it does not rain on the day you have made these plans.
My second suggestion and I have found it always works is to take Mzog Giantslime up to the tree house and tie it in a knot, thus avoiding any embarrassing moments until after you have made the family introductions.
Finally, think twice about this relationship, imagine what your children will look like and can your really envision yourself eating snails, frog eyes and the casting off of slime? Even a gargoyle might be a bit more presentable than a goblin.
– Elaina